As month goes by, I then FULLY realized how stupid i was and how blinded i am. Now, after a long time, I could think wisely of what really happen…those lil things that he did is not anything minor, its totally hurtful. Ive forgive but the moment i see him…the feeling of hatred is there. What makes it even stronger, that hatred feeling, the stories i got from kak nadiah about him and such OMG! Sick and Tired of everything about him!!! He really taught me how to forgive and not to forget. I also did learn a lesson, that kind of a guy is full of words with no action…the same thing happen again and again and again…and blah blah blah. (Dah masak with his nonsense)

When i have to text him or he texted me, i can just forget for short while of who he really is, what he had done…but after few secs, that feeling came back, its all full of hatred, again! I dunno he realize it, i tend to give short reply and i easily get irritated with his “jokes” or “blur-ness”. I remembered the past, all those silly messages which i take it like a real joke and ended laughin so hard but now NO MORE…Now, to me, it is full of nonsense! 

In school, i try to minimize eye contact with him…avoid create a conversation with him and whatsoever…i am really avoiding! If can, i dun want to see his FACE! But too bad we are classmate. Thank God…he was almost becoming a groupmate of mine…Oh Please stay where you are. Stop acting like you want to, you know, be part of us?! Enough with your “Effort” you put in…Arghh whatever!!!

Im sorry ive change which is all because of Him! He can judge me all he want but jyeah ive learn my lesson which i had enough, seriously. 

FYI of him being attached with who ever, oh please people…I really don’t care! Im not jealous or what ever shit people think of me on how i think about their relationship…who are they?! Come on…‘people’ you DONT HAVE TO RUB IT ON! Mind your own business.

(I can be good but this people really taught me to be bad so yeah…so after a long realization, this are the lesson i learned. Which i hope it will not repeat again. Cause you just cant imagine how hurtful it is. But sometimes i feel guilty and i dunno feelings can change so drastically. (Mix of Malay) Sebenci benci macam mana pun, i always always ask ALLAH, try to avoid those perasaan benci dan dengki. For time being, i can make full use of this phrase 'Ignorance is bliss’ which im a kind of person who hate being ignore or ignore people…i guess this is the best tht i can do to face people like him)

 

im nt goin to deactivate this…but will just keep it as a memory.

=)